At some point in every relationship, conflicts will arise. It’s normal for any couple to have problems. [Text Wrapping Break][Text Wrapping Break]It could lead to growth in the relationship if they can resolve it. However, not all couples’ fights make their bond stronger, sometimes it leads to hurt, heartbreak, and parting ways.
If you and your partner have been having issues lately and you don’t know how to fix it, here are a few tips for you:
- Try to Remember Why You’re in the Relationship
Relationships form because of shared feelings. You first got together with your partner because you liked each other, right? When conflict arises, try to remember the reasons why you love that person.
Read this article here to help you recall those feelings. Your anger at the moment isn’t equal to the love you feel for your partner almost every day.
When you remember why you love that person, it’s easier for you to calm down. When your rising anger levels have subsided, you can now talk peacefully with your partner.
2. Accept Your Differences
No two persons are the same. Even identical twins are not the same even if they look alike. You and your significant other came from entirely different backgrounds. You were raised in different families and experienced lots of different things.
Those life experiences are what makes a person unique. When you’re arguing, try to put yourself in their shoes. You may not know precisely where they’re coming from, but at least you get an idea. It helps you step back a little to try and see reason. Accept your differences and when you’re finally calm, work out your problems.
3. Understand What’s Meant by the Action
If your significant other did something you didn’t like, don’t attack him outright. Talk to each other first. Ask that person if they meant to hurt you. They may not have expected that their actions could cause a negative reaction from you.
Remember that if you love a person, you don’t want to hurt them deliberately. So, maybe it wasn’t their intention to hurt you. Their actions are well-meaning most of the time, but know your limits. People could play pranks to be funny, but that may not always be the case for the victim. If it’s over the line, voice out your concern.
4. Don’t Raise Your Voice
Shouting doesn’t resolve your arguments. If anything, it just causes more conflict. Your voices could continue to rise thinking that the louder you are, the more you prove your point. No, that is not the case. Raising your voice triggers the other person, and both of your tempers will continue to rise as well.
When you talk calmly, the better your chances are at resolving the issue. Peaceful negotiation is an excellent solution to conflicts. Remember that your end goal is to fix the problem and not to win the argument. If your goal is to win, then you’ve already lost.
5. Put Some Distance Between You Two
In the midst of an argument, while your tempers are high, seeing the other person might enrage you even more. Find it in the logical part of your brain to ask for a bit of distance but in a respectful way, of course. Don’t make it sound hateful like you absolutely can’t stand seeing that person’s presence.
Propose to let yourselves be in different rooms so you can think about the situation on your own. Time away from each other is an excellent time to reflect on your actions. After you’ve calmed down and mulled over your feelings, talk again but this time, peacefully and calmly.
In a relationship, you shouldn’t be out to attack each other. You both seek harmony, and you should remember that every time you’re in the middle of an argument. If you’re the one who made a mistake, own up to it. Apologize and meant it.
If the other person is at fault, be more understanding. Don’t fault him and attack his whole personality because of one mistake. It could lead to resentment that could turn into a problem in the future. Don’t shut them out and hear what they have to say. At this point, you can try to compromise, so you can meet each other in the middle.
7. Never Bring Up Past Arguments
It’s never a good idea to bring up past conflicts. Reopening wounds will not help you end the argument. It could fuel the anger and could end badly for your relationship. You should never use the mistakes that the other person did in the past as a weapon against them.
If you had problems in the past but are still together, then that should mean you have resolved the past issues. If you bring it up, then that means you never really got over the issue and that you still have underlying resentment. Keep your arguments on the problem of the present.
When you’re past the so-called “honeymoon stage” you’re bound to get into an argument. There are many ways that you can handle the issue, both constructively or destructively. If you want to keep the relationship, always go for the constructive. Try the tips above, so you resolve the conflict without either of you ending up heartbroken.